So for the past few weeks I have been trying to puzzle together an answer to this question : what does it mean to be beautiful?
The answer is simple: be yourself
Wait wait wait!!!
Don’t leave the site just yet.
I know, I have heard that probably since I was in elementary school where little puppets would act out skits on morals saying that life’s only struggle was not getting the last seat on the swings during recess. But hear me out. As much as this cliché quote has been imbedded into the back of our minds, we ignore it. More often than not, we convince ourselves that we have changed or that these people have shown me who I truly am. Which in some cases, is true. I have been lucky enough to find people that unlock a better version of myself, who push me to always do better. But before label and classify yourself a certain way, remember that there are so-called “methods” to know whether or not you're being honest with yourself.
Have the same values no matter who you are with.
The moment you start thinking about how someone else will react or finding the perfect answer to satisfy others– that should be a huge red flag. If you are always trying to please others, seeking their validation to make you feel better, your values will be as sturdy as egg shells. Know what your values are. Instead of preparing an answer that will appease those around you, say what you feel from the heart. Because one of the hardest but most rewarding obstacles to tackle in your entire life is to be yourself in a world that does the opposite.
Be proud of your limitations
It’s one thing to be proud of what you can do, but it’s a whole other thing when you are proud of what you cannot do. When you can unapologetically accept your imperfections, the limitations in your life, it is a testament that you know yourself better than anyone else. It is a testament to the confidence you have to say “no” to others because you know that it will negatively affect yourself. It is a testament to the courage you possess to make the right decisions.
Be honest with your opinions
Whenever I have deep and sometimes controversial conversations with my friends or acquaintances, I always try to be honest with my responses. This point actually ties in with the first point since both circle around one thing: consistency. My biggest advice to those who have the constant urge to please others (which I once did), is portrayed best by the old saying:
Say what you mean but don’t say it mean.
We can only do what we are capable of, to tell the truth. But if your honest response is not considerate and just downright offensive, you are being lazy and can do better. Although how does being yourself answer what it means to be beautiful? Well first off, beauty is not objective at all and my own opinion is just my own, nothing is set in stone. But the reason why I chose the word beautiful and not cute, pretty or sexy is because I don’t define beauty as just an exterior characteristic. Being beautiful is something that starts from the inside and if your heart is not true to yourself and to others, it will become fragile. Before you know it, beauty can turn into vanity. So be careful.
On the other hand, beauty in my eyes reflects someone who exudes a confidence within themselves that isn’t boastful, but blissful. They live their life being unapologetically themselves and have this energy of genuine happiness around people because they accept every facet of who they are, leaving no room for any judgment, criticism or shame to put upon others.