Success in life is designed to be tough. Obstacles will come your way that make everything seem impossible. You’ll face dilemmas that lead to hardships. But through it all, there are lessons that will be learned. However, celebrities, activists, even the youth of our generation, preach a very generic, yet famous, saying:
If you chase your dreams, they will come true.
Anonymous
Their message advocates an optimistic mindset, one that suggests that all you have to do is chase your dreams, and you are 100% guaranteed to achieve them. What they fail to mention are the bumps in the road and at times, dreams can feel like nightmares. And that’s because success is hard to come by. Hidden in success are two essential factors: accepting failure and taking risks. Coupled together, failure and risk are the necessary evils we all need to conquer in order to be successful.
First and foremost: failure. Failure is an absolute vital component in your path to success. We’ve all experienced failure. And our first reaction is to quit and run away from that uncomfortable feeling. Personally, I have never been one to escape these difficult thoughts that were constantly swarming around in my head. However, one day, I stumbled upon this ted talk video by Edward Zanatta. He shared his personal philosophy based on 3 principles and after hearing it, absorbing it, and using it, gradually, I felt more in control of who I was.
1. Don’t give up so easily
At one point or another, we will stumble upon obstacles that are seemingly impossible and when we feel overwhelmed, it is very easy to convince ourselves to quit. However, giving up too soon could cause us to miss out on subsequent success. Zanatta reminded me of Michael Jordan, the greatest basket player to ever play. Before hearing this principle, it had never occurred to me that Michael Jordan was capable of ever failing. I have only ever seen his successes, his famous shoes, his legacy, his championships, and completely forgot that successful people have also been scratched and bruised in the past to be where they are now. He openly confessed that he had missed over 9,000 shots in his career. 26 times he was given the chance to score the game winning shot and missed. He failed over and over again in his life but persevered to win 6 championships!
2. There is no such thing as failure
Sometimes you try your best and succeed. However, sometimes you try your best and fail, but you learn from your mistakes and improve upon them until you succeed. We are constantly being told that if we try hard enough, we will succeed. But what if we do try our hardest and, the results still don’t measure up to someone’s definition of success? Then we are told that we did not try hard enough. Zanatta said that it is because more often than not, we measure our success or failure through the outcome, not the effort, which should not be the case. When he talked about the way we measure success and failure, it really hit me hard. Perhaps because no one told me it was okay to fail, that as long as you learn something, no one will be disappointed. But in the end, I believe that the best way to not let your failures determine your abilities, is to not put your sense of worthiness in other people's hands. That way, when you do fail, which is inevitable, you will not be anxious or worried of how others will react and spend that time reflecting upon your mistakes and trying to fix them.
3. Don't let the past define who you are
Our past failures don’t mean we will fail every time but it can leave us broken and deflated. We can succeed 1000 times but that one failure will wipe out all our previous accomplishments. I was reminded of a quote I had once heard before,
The only thing keeping you for getting what you want, is the story you keep telling yourself about why you cannot have it.
Anthony Robbins
It is essential to remind ourselves that the recent setback is part of the process and to use failure as a tool towards success. But that decisions rests entirely up to you.
This leads me to my next factor: taking risks. The majority of us are afraid to take risks. And maybe because we’re told that the world is a dangerous place and we ought to follow the path of least resistance. So we get stuck in our normal routines and we feel safe. We become afraid at the thought of venturing outside the safe worlds we’ve built for ourselves. Because it makes us feel too uncomfortable. However, being uncomfortable is what we need. I can't remember where I had heard or read this statement, but those words have always lingered in my head. Personally, I hate putting myself in uncomfortable, risky or awkward situation. And I'm pretty sure most people would agree that they would rather stick to that safe and normal routine for the rest of their life. But then I began to reflect. Would I feel satisfied with my decisions when I look back on my life in 70-ish years? It made me realize that if I wanted become the most authentic version of myself when I reached my final years, I would have to step outside those safety nets and trying something that will help me learn new things about myself. And personally, if I were to ever find that passion, something that will pierce me with motivation everyday, ultimately, I would consider that to be true success.